A Battle, Inside And Out: Making The Separation Process Work For The Children

Separation and divorce are very difficult things for any adult to go through, but when we get caught up in the emotional turmoil we can find the bad habits we’ve made as parents come to the fore, not to mention the fact that we can become selfish. But when going through the process of separation or divorce, we have to act with our children’s interests as a priority, how can we do this?

Learning How To Bite Our Tongue

It’s not the easiest thing in the world, but when making our children the priority, especially when the circumstances of the separation of been so heart-wrenching, we’ve got to find ways for us to put our frustrations on the back burner.

Whenever we see our ex-partner, the temptation to be passive aggressive and to speak your mind is overwhelming, to say the least.

While we feel good temporarily for speaking our mind, when we are trying to work towards an amicable separation, these incidents don’t do anyone favors, not least your children, especially when they witness them up close.

And even if the other person is doing their best to badmouth you in front of the children, you’ve got to rise above it, no matter how difficult it is.

If We Can’t Come To An Agreement Civilly…

Bear in mind, it may take a lot of effort to come to an agreement without it being in the courts.

While family law solicitors can help in this respect, if we are trying to keep it away from a prolonged legal process for the sake of our family and our sanity, this may be the only option. 

In one respect, going through the legal system can be difficult, financially and emotionally, but if it’s the only way for you to come to some conclusion so that you can all move on, you need to go for it.

Trying Not To Be Selfish

We can fight tooth and nail for our children, and we believe that we are more deserving of them, but when we are so fraught with emotion, this can cloud our judgment as to what is beneficial for the children.

For example, if your children live with your ex, and they have done for a long time, ask yourself if it is necessary to uproot them?

Children these days that are the product of divorce tend to have to compartmentalize their life, which can be very stressful.

So if we’re doing our best to make our children the priority we have to get rid of our own selfish tendencies.

Of course, if you think that there’s a perfectly good reason that you are more deserving, then it’s your prerogative.

When we are thinking of how best to progress for the sake of our children, we have to make it as stress-free as possible.

It’s one of those unfortunate things in life, and while we might not all go through it, if we find ourselves in this difficult predicament, we can be clouded with rage and stress.

But think about it; is this the best thing for the children?

Disclaimer: This is a collaborative post