As I sit here typing this very article, it just dawned on me that my 1st Degree Black Belt Grading is just over a week away. Two years of working towards this honour within my chosen discipline *Kickboxing* is almost upon me and thought I would openly share my thoughts with you all on how I am feeling about my ultimate test to date!
After analysing my performance this year, I will say that am feeling confident about my overall fitness, stamina and endurance levels to survive the four hour exam, which in short includes performing at least a dozen of each technical set attacking and then defending (there are 16 in total), x amount of rounds on the heavy bag, creating a routine on the spot, sparring and anything else our Founder and Grandmaster decides to throw at us.
I wouldn’t say I have reached my optimal fitness level just yet, as I personally feel I have a lot more to give. 2014 will see me working towards and reaching this peak please god.
That said, I do however need to believe in my ability to go there and completely ace my technical sets. As my kb colleague, dear friend and breaking boundrez team member Jo reminded me during Wednesday’s kb session, I know the sets required to pass, despite me thinking that I have memory blocks on some of the sets. I just need to approach each set with confidence, let the adrenaline kick in and allow myself to perform them with precision without over thinking.
My biggest problem though is being ultra competitive with myself, to the point where I am my worst critique! I find it incredibility hard to not beat myself up when I make a small mistake. Instead of brushing it off, quickly putting a wrong right and continuing on, I stop mid flow and scream / grunt at myself for getting it wrong lol *covers face and shakes head in embarassment* If not careful, I could be my own worst enemy during grading, for this type of self destructive behaviour will only draw negative attention to myself.
For someone so competitive and having perfectionist tendancies, it really is a battle for me to not to self critizize as I am forever striving to do better but at the same time I recognise that everyone makes mistakes and it is all a part of learning and personal growth. Just a few things to work on mentally *get the mind right and the rest will follow* but physically and spiritually I am more than ready for my 1st Dan Grading exam.
Pre grading with the Regional Instructor is this coming Monday. I will treat this as the actual grading to show off my technical ability and give him no reason to not put forward for my 1st Dan black belt. Should I be successful, this will achievment will allow me to become a qualified kickboxing instructor ready to teach my own classes! My eyes are firmly on the prize and focused like you wouldn’t believe 🙂